Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We're using joints as your birthday candles
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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