The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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