Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
