It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How does it feel to date your dad?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.