I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it