there was a trapeze. enough said
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
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You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.