Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.