i need an iv and a liver transplant
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..