Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
