My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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