In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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