Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
