How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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