Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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