Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
