I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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