Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
