Apparently you make a good broom.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
