so that wasnt chicken after all
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
