Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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