I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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