youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
