Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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