so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
