the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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