That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
