i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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