a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
