If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
