what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
