why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
