My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
