actually, I'm a sock model
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
