Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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