She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
