There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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