Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
