in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
