i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
this will be a night to untag.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
