I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
