drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
