I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize