You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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