I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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