He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
