Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
