I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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