Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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