Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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