Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
