I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
there is puke in my bra ... again
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