Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think my moral compass just broke
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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