I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
