Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
