I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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