My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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