the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize