So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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